Sunday, May 18, 2008

Craziness's finals week. Which means all of us are stressed beyond belief with more things to do than time to do them. And many of us are leaving on Friday, adding yet another layer of stress to our already jam-packed brains. Most of us are in foul moods much of the time, causing us to snap, yell, scream or simply not speak to one another. It's great fun...more fun than I could ever describe.

However, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. And sometimes, even the darkest tunnels have windows. I just finished singing my chazanut final, which went remarkably well. I've struggled with my piece all semester (Ki K'shimcha by Zavel Zilberts,) threatening on more than one occasion to rip up the paper and throw it out the window, but I persevered. And I'm so, so happy I did. Not only is it a beautiful piece, but I learned so much about chazanut in general from it. It also reminded me that sometimes the things we struggle with the most turn out to be our greatest successes, which in this crazy time of the semester is a much needed and appreciated reminder.

I don't know what happened in that room a few minutes ago, but I took that piece and I conquered it. And that feels pretty damn good.

There's so much more to write about right now; it's an emotional time for all of us, though we don't have time to think about it with finals and papers and packing. In 5 days, I am leaving Israel for good, and while I am excited to see everyone back home, I am also incredibly sad to leave here. Go figure that I became really comfortable in Israel this semester; now that I am happy here, I have to leave and return to a life where I don't know exactly where I belong. And I have to start thinking about life in New York City, which is 100 times more terrifying than the thoughts I had of living in Israel this time next year.

Please be patient with me when I come home...I am so excited to see you and spend the summer with you, but it's going to take some major readjusting as I settle back into life in the States and get ready for the next piece of the adventure in NYC.

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