Saturday, June 5, 2010

Semester in Review

Are you getting tired of reading about how sorry I am that I haven't posted in weeks (or in this case, months?) Friends, it's been a very busy end of the semester. I am exhausted and feeling somewhat like HUC has sucked every last ounce of my soul out of my body, but I am still standing.

So much has happened this semester. I could spend this post talking about how much I learned in my Intro to Midrash class (even with it's treacherous and somewhat self-defeating final exam) or how much joy I've experienced through my pulpit work in the last couple of months. I could also talk about how I freaked out during my guitar final--literally running out of the room in tears--or how I worked so hard on the Hinini I had to sing for comps and then completely butchered it in the moment. I could talk about the wonderful relationship I've formed with my rabbinic mentor in York, or how I let a congregant talk me into doing a shot of Wild Turkey at a Bar Mitzvah party last week.

It's been a roller coaster of a semester, clearly.

In truth, however, I don't want to talk about school or work. Why? Because that's ALL I've talked about this year. It's all I've lived and done this year. Somewhere in the process of becoming a cantor, I've lost so many other parts of myself. I've forgotten who TRACY is. I've forgotten what it feels like to have fun and enjoy my family, my friends, and my life outside of HUC and the synagogue world. I've even lost my love of blogging and sharing my life with this wonderful community of people who are actually interested in the life and times of a cantor in training. I HATE ALL OF THIS.

This summer, I want to reconnect with myself. I want to remember who I am and what I love outside of the Jewish community. I want to do fun things, like go on dates and explore this crazy city that I've been living in for 2 years without ever really exploring. My goal is to learn more about the things that make me happy, and to welcome as much love and joy into my life as possible.

I'm in the process of creating a list of things that bring me utter joy and happiness. I'm keeping the list private for now, but I will say that those of you who are still with me, after 3 years of blogging (!!!) and my many hiatus' as of late, are truly a blessing in my life. YOU make me happy. Thank you for that.

Now I'm curious: what makes you happy?

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