COMPS ARE OVER!!! And I lived to tell :)
For the full effect of just how good it feels to know they are over and done with, turn up the volume of your speakers as loud as they can go and then play the video.
This is the piece that the choir sung at Investiture/Ordination, right after the last new rabbi was ordained. If there's ever a time to burst into a song of this nature, that's it! (and after comps, of course :)) It's one of my new favorite pieces of choral music ever, probably because of it's connection to the event in which I first sang it. It's also so damn fun to sing and hear.
Those of you who've been with me since the beginning of this year know full well that it's been a rough year for me. I've had a rough transition to New York and everything that accompanies it; mice, public transportation, the different mannerisms of some of the people here, the fast pace, etc. It's also been a rough year in the Jewish world; my mentor lost her job at my home congregation, my good cantorial student friend was unable to get a job for next year, a lot of Jewish organizations have crumbled or faced extreme layoffs etc. This year, it's been especially hard to find inspiration to stay focused and excited about my future as a Jewish leader. For the first time ever, I felt myself losing my motivation to make this dream come true, which was both depressing and scary.
You all are probably also aware that the last few weeks have been especially crazy around here. As soon as Pesach was over (it was only 3 weeks ago!), I hit the ground running, writing a crazy-long Bible final, enjoying a visit to South Bend, planning and executing 2 very successful morning services, singing at Investiture/Ordination, finals week, comps, and now a concert for my last (!!!) visit to South Bend, a choir concert in Albany, moving home to STL for the summer, and singing in 2 weddings my first week home. It's still crazy around here, but I couldn't have asked for a better end to my semester.
I have to say that the end of this semester has been so great that I'd put up with this year all over again. Especially when you wake up in the morning and see the following email from a professor in your inbox:
"You were superb in every way.
Nuances!! Elegant phrases!!!
So much kavanah, in everything you sang, OMG, it was beyond great.
Thanks for the memories, and Kol Hakavod."
To all of you who've stuck by me this year, and who've read my sometimes depressing posts about my very real life here, I thank you. I so deeply appreciate your love and support, and you're a huge part of the reason that I've been able to stick it out. Todah Rabah to all of you.
What does a cantorial student do with herself the day after comps? She goes shopping for a pretty dress to wear to her concert on Saturday night, of course! I'm thinking a mani/pedi may also be in order :)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Afterglow
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Comprehensive Exams!
Finals are over! Yay! After 3 intense weeks of work, reading, writing papers and music curricula, and a plethora of other things, it's finally summertime!
Oh, wait. We're cantorial students. Scratch that.
Now that finals are over, it's officially time for comprehensive exams. What does that mean?
It means lots of this:
Yep, it's a large. 32 ounces of fat free, caffeine-y, iced latte goodness. You know how I roll.
And a lot of time with these guys:
The works of Adolf Katchko (dark blue), Israel Alter (light blue), and Noah Schall (orange). They wrote the books on chazzanut (literally--there they are in the picture!) and we use them to learn how to daven in the traditional manner. I've spent so much time with them in the last few weeks that I feel extremely close to them now. If the books were actual people, we'd probably be close to married.
Finally, you throw in a traditional siddur, one that is used in a Conservative or Orthodox congregation. To help with organization, I've tabbed each prayer I need to sing. The colors represent the different services we're required to know for this year's exam.
I jokingly refer to this as "Tracy and the Siddur of Many Colors." There are actually blue tabs in there too, but they're hidden by the others. And in case you were wondering:
Pink=Kabbalat Shabbat
Green=Ma'ariv (Shabbat evening)
Orange=Shacharit (Shabbat morning)
Blue=Musaf
Basically, the gist of comps is to be able to pray from the siddur with as little music as possible. Most of what we have to sing is required from the siddur itself, meaning we have to memorize the melodies and sing from the actual text. We are able to use music for some of the longer, more difficult pieces, but they don't account for much of our exam. We also have to sing 2 contemporary pieces, one from our Contemporary Shabbat class last semester and one from our Contemporary Rosh Hashana class this semester.
The exams take about 30 minutes from start to finish, and are done in front of the Olympic judges (Okay, the entire SSM faculty.) It's more than a little intimidating and I am scared out of my mind to sing on Tuesday morning. Thank goodness we'll be well prepared (thanks to our classes and professors and the hours upon hours of practice time we've put into this) and we know everyone there is rooting for us.
And, the best part is that as of 11:00 Tuesday morning, it's officially SUMMERTIME!
Until then, send love my way, and keep your fingers crossed that my brain doesn't go to Bermuda when I'm on the bimah on Tuesday morning (it's only right to use a Steinsnyder-ism to end this post.)
Home to STL for the summer in 2 weeks!
Oh, wait. We're cantorial students. Scratch that.
Now that finals are over, it's officially time for comprehensive exams. What does that mean?
It means lots of this:
Yep, it's a large. 32 ounces of fat free, caffeine-y, iced latte goodness. You know how I roll.And a lot of time with these guys:
The works of Adolf Katchko (dark blue), Israel Alter (light blue), and Noah Schall (orange). They wrote the books on chazzanut (literally--there they are in the picture!) and we use them to learn how to daven in the traditional manner. I've spent so much time with them in the last few weeks that I feel extremely close to them now. If the books were actual people, we'd probably be close to married.Finally, you throw in a traditional siddur, one that is used in a Conservative or Orthodox congregation. To help with organization, I've tabbed each prayer I need to sing. The colors represent the different services we're required to know for this year's exam.
I jokingly refer to this as "Tracy and the Siddur of Many Colors." There are actually blue tabs in there too, but they're hidden by the others. And in case you were wondering:Pink=Kabbalat Shabbat
Green=Ma'ariv (Shabbat evening)
Orange=Shacharit (Shabbat morning)
Blue=Musaf
Basically, the gist of comps is to be able to pray from the siddur with as little music as possible. Most of what we have to sing is required from the siddur itself, meaning we have to memorize the melodies and sing from the actual text. We are able to use music for some of the longer, more difficult pieces, but they don't account for much of our exam. We also have to sing 2 contemporary pieces, one from our Contemporary Shabbat class last semester and one from our Contemporary Rosh Hashana class this semester.
The exams take about 30 minutes from start to finish, and are done in front of the Olympic judges (Okay, the entire SSM faculty.) It's more than a little intimidating and I am scared out of my mind to sing on Tuesday morning. Thank goodness we'll be well prepared (thanks to our classes and professors and the hours upon hours of practice time we've put into this) and we know everyone there is rooting for us.
And, the best part is that as of 11:00 Tuesday morning, it's officially SUMMERTIME!
Until then, send love my way, and keep your fingers crossed that my brain doesn't go to Bermuda when I'm on the bimah on Tuesday morning (it's only right to use a Steinsnyder-ism to end this post.)
Home to STL for the summer in 2 weeks!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Investiture/Ordination
Today was exactly what I needed to get back on the "being a cantor is a wonderful thing" bandwagon.
Today, 11 cantorial students and 14 rabbinical students went from being ordinary people, to extraordinary cantors and rabbis.
The ceremony was so beautiful; tons of good music (yours truly sang in the choir, and several of our amazing faculty sang special blessings and/or wrote music in honor of the class), lots of family members and friends, and beautiful blessings from the entire HUC community. The process of being invested or ordained is also quite lovely; one-by-one students are called up to the ark and given a special blessing by the HUC-JIR President, Rabbi David Ellenson. He spoke to each student while the student's choice of song was played on the organ, with his hands placed gently on each student's cheeks, later giving them each a kiss on the forehead and a big hug of congratulations.
The ceremony was so unlike my high school and college graduations; there was so much emotion in the air. After 5 years of school, I'd imagine one is ready to get out into the world and be an amazing cantor or rabbi. However, you're also saying goodbye to the friends and teachers who've been with you every step of the way.
And now instead of being friends and/or teachers, you're also colleagues. Weird to think about, but also kind of awesome.
It's also the realization of your wildest dreams; you're no longer planning on going to cantorial school or studying to become a cantor--you ARE a cantor. How cool must that be?
I spent the majority of today's service in tears. I've come to know and like these new cantors as I've enjoyed watching and/or participating in their recitals and sharing many a pracitcum discussion with them. They are amazing people and will make such necessary and great changes in the Jewish world. But more than that, I realized that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel, a reason for struggling through comps and history papers and public transportation that's never on time.
Is it weird that I'm already envisioning Rabbi Ellenson's hands on my face, seeing my family, C-Squad members, and favorite faculty member beaming with pride, knowing that I've already accomplished my biggest life goal?
That vision is one I've needed for awhile now. And it's one that will carry me through terrible semesters like this one, not to mention finals and comps and apartment problems.
Throughout this rotten semester, I've spent a lot of time questioning my reasons for being here.
Feeling like I wasn't strong enough, good enough, talented enough to make it in the big, bad cantorial world.
Wondering if I had a place in this Jewish world that sometimes seems to put cantors on the backburner.
Worried about my own future and the future of the cantorate as a whole.
Today I remembered why I am here, and I became excited again to serve the Jewish people and to sing to God with gladness.
Most importantly, I remembered just how special this profession is. I get to sing my heart out to God on behalf of my people, bringing God's presence into their lives in a way that simple speech or reading never could. That fact alone is all I need to pull me through the roughest times of cantorial school and life in New York City.
Well, that and my ever-expanding list of song choices for my Investiture 3 years from now, of course :-)
Today, 11 cantorial students and 14 rabbinical students went from being ordinary people, to extraordinary cantors and rabbis.
The ceremony was so beautiful; tons of good music (yours truly sang in the choir, and several of our amazing faculty sang special blessings and/or wrote music in honor of the class), lots of family members and friends, and beautiful blessings from the entire HUC community. The process of being invested or ordained is also quite lovely; one-by-one students are called up to the ark and given a special blessing by the HUC-JIR President, Rabbi David Ellenson. He spoke to each student while the student's choice of song was played on the organ, with his hands placed gently on each student's cheeks, later giving them each a kiss on the forehead and a big hug of congratulations.
The ceremony was so unlike my high school and college graduations; there was so much emotion in the air. After 5 years of school, I'd imagine one is ready to get out into the world and be an amazing cantor or rabbi. However, you're also saying goodbye to the friends and teachers who've been with you every step of the way.
And now instead of being friends and/or teachers, you're also colleagues. Weird to think about, but also kind of awesome.
It's also the realization of your wildest dreams; you're no longer planning on going to cantorial school or studying to become a cantor--you ARE a cantor. How cool must that be?
I spent the majority of today's service in tears. I've come to know and like these new cantors as I've enjoyed watching and/or participating in their recitals and sharing many a pracitcum discussion with them. They are amazing people and will make such necessary and great changes in the Jewish world. But more than that, I realized that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel, a reason for struggling through comps and history papers and public transportation that's never on time.
Is it weird that I'm already envisioning Rabbi Ellenson's hands on my face, seeing my family, C-Squad members, and favorite faculty member beaming with pride, knowing that I've already accomplished my biggest life goal?
That vision is one I've needed for awhile now. And it's one that will carry me through terrible semesters like this one, not to mention finals and comps and apartment problems.
Throughout this rotten semester, I've spent a lot of time questioning my reasons for being here.
Feeling like I wasn't strong enough, good enough, talented enough to make it in the big, bad cantorial world.
Wondering if I had a place in this Jewish world that sometimes seems to put cantors on the backburner.
Worried about my own future and the future of the cantorate as a whole.
Today I remembered why I am here, and I became excited again to serve the Jewish people and to sing to God with gladness.
Most importantly, I remembered just how special this profession is. I get to sing my heart out to God on behalf of my people, bringing God's presence into their lives in a way that simple speech or reading never could. That fact alone is all I need to pull me through the roughest times of cantorial school and life in New York City.
Well, that and my ever-expanding list of song choices for my Investiture 3 years from now, of course :-)
Friday, May 1, 2009
Check It Out!
This is the beautiful flier that was put together to advertise the concert I am giving in South Bend, during my last scheduled visit with Temple Beth El. I know it's a drive for most of you, but if you are willing and able to come, I would LOVE to see you there!
PS--click on the link to enlarge the poster, so you can read about the details. It's a fun night of Jewish music and musical theater (is there really a difference, I ask you?)
PS--click on the link to enlarge the poster, so you can read about the details. It's a fun night of Jewish music and musical theater (is there really a difference, I ask you?)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
This week, my friend Jill and I were responsible for leading morning t'fillah at school. Though we only had 2 days of school this week, our task was mighty, especially on the last day of classes.
It was Yom Hazikaron, Israeli memorial day for fallen soliders and victims of terrorist attacks. Unlike the United States, Israel's memorial day is taken very seriously, and is a solemn and sad day for Israelis.
It was also the last day of classes for the year. One of HUC-NYC's traditions on the last day of class is to invite up all of the graduating cantorial, rabbinical and education students to say Kaddish D'rabbanan, a special prayer that is said at the completion of one's studies.
As you can imagine, it was quite a challenge to create a service that maintained the sanctity
of Yom Hazikaron and celebrated the success of our classmates. Jill and I worked tirelessly last week to create a service that was meaningful, beautiful, and memorable.
It just goes to show that hard work and thoughtfulness can pay off in a big way. Our service went over beautifully--we were able to mourn the losses of the State of Israel while still singing and dancing with our graduates. Nothing was compromised, everything was remembered, and our efforts majorly worked in our favor. I sang well (people were complementing me even today, a full day later, on the service) and Jill delivered her teachings and blessings to the graduates with gusto.
I was also excited to deliver my first iyun (teaching) to the community. Before we sang Mi Chamocha, I offered up these words:
The following words were taken from the diary of Alex Singer, a 25-year-old fallen solider, written one year before his death near the Israel-Lebanon border.
As I progress toward the course's end
I feel a pang of fear.
Today I felt such fear.
If the war comes,
When the war comes,
I will have to lead men to die.
But those men were not men a short time ago
Some don't even shave yet.
And I will have to have the calm power
to yell to them
or to whisper
Kadima (onwards).
And,
I will have to have the calm power to step forward myself.
Just like Moses and the Israelites, Alex had a choice. Stay, and never know of the great miracles that might await him, or go and risk everything on the hope that eventually Israel would find freedom and peace. Unlike Moses and the Israelites, Alex was never able to witness his miracle. And yet, he pushed on, knowing that the miracle would come alive for us and countless others. Today, we sing for the miracle at the Red Sea, and the miracle that is yet to come, when young men and women will no longer need to give their lives for their country. Today, we sing for the miracle that is the Land of Israel.
I am proud of this service. Extremely proud. And honored that I was able to be a part of it.
Our t'fillah advisor, Cantor Benjie Schiller, said that we would look back on this service and be thankful for the opportunity to lead it. She was right. Not only did it feel good to lead such a powerful service, it felt good to stand confidently on the HUC bimah. After a rough semester and some rather embarrassing breakdowns at the bimah, I needed this t'fillah to regain my strength in my abilities. I'm hoping that that feeling of confidence will stay with me through comprehensive exams, when I need it the most.
We'll see!
There is so much stuff going on right now that I'd love to write about...maybe in between papers and/or comps cramming I can write about the college's current financial situation, ordination/investiture, comprehensive exams, summer plans, etc. Here's hoping!
BTW--if anyone knows of any summer job opportunities out there, please holler...this cantor wannabe needs a job!
It was Yom Hazikaron, Israeli memorial day for fallen soliders and victims of terrorist attacks. Unlike the United States, Israel's memorial day is taken very seriously, and is a solemn and sad day for Israelis.
It was also the last day of classes for the year. One of HUC-NYC's traditions on the last day of class is to invite up all of the graduating cantorial, rabbinical and education students to say Kaddish D'rabbanan, a special prayer that is said at the completion of one's studies.
As you can imagine, it was quite a challenge to create a service that maintained the sanctity
of Yom Hazikaron and celebrated the success of our classmates. Jill and I worked tirelessly last week to create a service that was meaningful, beautiful, and memorable.
It just goes to show that hard work and thoughtfulness can pay off in a big way. Our service went over beautifully--we were able to mourn the losses of the State of Israel while still singing and dancing with our graduates. Nothing was compromised, everything was remembered, and our efforts majorly worked in our favor. I sang well (people were complementing me even today, a full day later, on the service) and Jill delivered her teachings and blessings to the graduates with gusto.
I was also excited to deliver my first iyun (teaching) to the community. Before we sang Mi Chamocha, I offered up these words:
The following words were taken from the diary of Alex Singer, a 25-year-old fallen solider, written one year before his death near the Israel-Lebanon border.
As I progress toward the course's end
I feel a pang of fear.
Today I felt such fear.
If the war comes,
When the war comes,
I will have to lead men to die.
But those men were not men a short time ago
Some don't even shave yet.
And I will have to have the calm power
to yell to them
or to whisper
Kadima (onwards).
And,
I will have to have the calm power to step forward myself.
Just like Moses and the Israelites, Alex had a choice. Stay, and never know of the great miracles that might await him, or go and risk everything on the hope that eventually Israel would find freedom and peace. Unlike Moses and the Israelites, Alex was never able to witness his miracle. And yet, he pushed on, knowing that the miracle would come alive for us and countless others. Today, we sing for the miracle at the Red Sea, and the miracle that is yet to come, when young men and women will no longer need to give their lives for their country. Today, we sing for the miracle that is the Land of Israel.
I am proud of this service. Extremely proud. And honored that I was able to be a part of it.
Our t'fillah advisor, Cantor Benjie Schiller, said that we would look back on this service and be thankful for the opportunity to lead it. She was right. Not only did it feel good to lead such a powerful service, it felt good to stand confidently on the HUC bimah. After a rough semester and some rather embarrassing breakdowns at the bimah, I needed this t'fillah to regain my strength in my abilities. I'm hoping that that feeling of confidence will stay with me through comprehensive exams, when I need it the most.
We'll see!
There is so much stuff going on right now that I'd love to write about...maybe in between papers and/or comps cramming I can write about the college's current financial situation, ordination/investiture, comprehensive exams, summer plans, etc. Here's hoping!
BTW--if anyone knows of any summer job opportunities out there, please holler...this cantor wannabe needs a job!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Home Sweet Home
God I love the Midwest. So, so, so, so, sooooooooo much more than I love NYC.
It's so freeing to be back home and far far away from the world of public transit and rude people. It's refreshing to take a walk just for the hell of it without hurrying or being practically run over by New Yorkers who think they're more important than you are. It's lovely to remember that people around here are nice, no strings attached. I love this ability to finally let my guard down and relax a little. The awareness of feeling perfectly safe wherever I am is so comforting, and it's something I haven't felt since I was last here in January.
I've done a lot of cooking, which is a huge part of who I am and what I love (I'd probably be in culinary school if I hadn't chosen the cantorial school route.) I still don't feel comfy cooking in my apartment in Astoria, despite my best attempts to get over the mice that I still find on a semi-regular basis. I love the feeling of cooking healthy meals for myself and my family and enjoying the time I spend doing so. I've missed it dearly and hope to maybe muster up the courage to go back into the kitchen upon my return to NYC. We'll see.
I am 100% convinced that the Midwest is where I'm supposed to end up once I obtain my investiture. There's something about the ease and friendliness of this part of the country that is so much more ME. It's hard to imagine that I have to spend the next 3 years of my life living in a city that doesn't appreciate niceties or peaceful, easygoing people. I'd even be okay with Chicago or Milwakee or Indianapolis--I don't need to be back to St Louis. I just want to live in a city where I don't have to apologize for being a nice person. I'm done with the attitude I've had to develop in order to merely survive in NYC. It's so clearly not who I am, and I hate the feeling of walking around as someone I'm not merely to fit in to my surroundings.
Who am I kidding...I can't even fake an attitude like that. I guess that's why it ain't working so well for me.
3 more years and I'm outta that city quicker than you can say "Cantor Fishbein."
I get so excited when envisioning my office in my Midwestern synagogue, my Katchko books and Shireinu stacked neatly on a bookshelf while I make millions of photocopies for my volunteer choir and argue with the rabbi about what to sing for Friday night's service before settling in for an afternoon of B'nai Mitzvah students who probably haven't practiced since last week's lesson...
Someday.
It's so freeing to be back home and far far away from the world of public transit and rude people. It's refreshing to take a walk just for the hell of it without hurrying or being practically run over by New Yorkers who think they're more important than you are. It's lovely to remember that people around here are nice, no strings attached. I love this ability to finally let my guard down and relax a little. The awareness of feeling perfectly safe wherever I am is so comforting, and it's something I haven't felt since I was last here in January.
I've done a lot of cooking, which is a huge part of who I am and what I love (I'd probably be in culinary school if I hadn't chosen the cantorial school route.) I still don't feel comfy cooking in my apartment in Astoria, despite my best attempts to get over the mice that I still find on a semi-regular basis. I love the feeling of cooking healthy meals for myself and my family and enjoying the time I spend doing so. I've missed it dearly and hope to maybe muster up the courage to go back into the kitchen upon my return to NYC. We'll see.
I am 100% convinced that the Midwest is where I'm supposed to end up once I obtain my investiture. There's something about the ease and friendliness of this part of the country that is so much more ME. It's hard to imagine that I have to spend the next 3 years of my life living in a city that doesn't appreciate niceties or peaceful, easygoing people. I'd even be okay with Chicago or Milwakee or Indianapolis--I don't need to be back to St Louis. I just want to live in a city where I don't have to apologize for being a nice person. I'm done with the attitude I've had to develop in order to merely survive in NYC. It's so clearly not who I am, and I hate the feeling of walking around as someone I'm not merely to fit in to my surroundings.
Who am I kidding...I can't even fake an attitude like that. I guess that's why it ain't working so well for me.
3 more years and I'm outta that city quicker than you can say "Cantor Fishbein."
I get so excited when envisioning my office in my Midwestern synagogue, my Katchko books and Shireinu stacked neatly on a bookshelf while I make millions of photocopies for my volunteer choir and argue with the rabbi about what to sing for Friday night's service before settling in for an afternoon of B'nai Mitzvah students who probably haven't practiced since last week's lesson...
Someday.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
My Boys
Every now and then, friends come into your life that totally change your life and your perspective on the world. For me, these friends are my boys, Mike and Joey.
Me, Mike and Joey at the top of the Empire State Building at midnight on a Wednesday night
We have an incredibly special and unique relationship in that we've never, ever lived in the same city or part of the country. Therefore, our get-togethers are always fun and special. We met almost 5 years ago when we sat at the same dinner table on a cruise ship to the Caribbean. We bonded immediately, and since then have traveled to see each other several times within the last five years. I've gone to visit them in Orange County, California, where they live, and they've come to see me in St Louis and now NYC, and our families even cruised to Alaska together a few summers ago. Our time together is incredibly precious to me and always ends too soon, but it's fun to look forward to upcoming adventures together and know that things will be exactly as they always are no matter how much time has passed.
M&J had never been to NYC before this week, so showing them around and discovering new things with them was incredibly fun and uplifting. I'm not the biggest fan of New York (I know, you'd never have guessed...) and being able to run around and see the city through their eyes was inspiring. I still don't love it, but now even little things will remind me of our time together and therefore, make me a little happier to be here.
We did all kinds of things, and a LOT of walking around and looking at the amazing architecture of the city. So often I ignore the beauty all around me--it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and run right past it on my way to the subway. We did a lot of touristy stuff that I'd never done before, including a Circle Line cruise, a trip to Ellis Island and Lady Liberty, and an elevator ride to the top of the Empire State Building (which was done at midnight on the first night of Pesach...possibly one of the coolest Pesach experiences I've ever had--there's something about being on an 86th floor observatory in the cool night air that is very freeing and refreshing.) We also ate waaaaay too much good food (the boys love to eat...ok, so do I...) and had our first NYC celebrity sighting. Angela Landsbury was coming out of a show she'd just performed in, so we joined the crowd and started taking pictures.
In addition to running around, we took the time to have some amazing conversations about God and religion. I love talking about these things, especially with these guys whose religious views are somewhat skewed due to various life experiences. I love sharing my perspectives and listening to theirs, and we all open ourselves up to ideas we may not agree with or particularly care for. Nevertheless, it is discussions like these that stimulate and refresh my own Judaism, and remind me of why I chose to be a part of this sect of Judaism. After an intense semester, with a lot of disappointments and struggles, I needed to talk about God and why I chose to follow a Jewish lifestyle and career in such an open and loving environment.
Angela Landsbury! She's in the khaki coat.
NYC from the top of the Empire State Building
My boyfriends. It's true love for sure :)
I truly believe that every single, straight girl needs at least one good gay boyfriend to survive in this world. I'm lucky enough to have a pair of them who love and adore me like none other. And I kinda love them too :)
Thanks, guys, for a great week...meet you at Junior's at midnight for some latkes and red velvet!
Me, Mike and Joey at the top of the Empire State Building at midnight on a Wednesday nightM&J had never been to NYC before this week, so showing them around and discovering new things with them was incredibly fun and uplifting. I'm not the biggest fan of New York (I know, you'd never have guessed...) and being able to run around and see the city through their eyes was inspiring. I still don't love it, but now even little things will remind me of our time together and therefore, make me a little happier to be here.
We did all kinds of things, and a LOT of walking around and looking at the amazing architecture of the city. So often I ignore the beauty all around me--it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and run right past it on my way to the subway. We did a lot of touristy stuff that I'd never done before, including a Circle Line cruise, a trip to Ellis Island and Lady Liberty, and an elevator ride to the top of the Empire State Building (which was done at midnight on the first night of Pesach...possibly one of the coolest Pesach experiences I've ever had--there's something about being on an 86th floor observatory in the cool night air that is very freeing and refreshing.) We also ate waaaaay too much good food (the boys love to eat...ok, so do I...) and had our first NYC celebrity sighting. Angela Landsbury was coming out of a show she'd just performed in, so we joined the crowd and started taking pictures.
In addition to running around, we took the time to have some amazing conversations about God and religion. I love talking about these things, especially with these guys whose religious views are somewhat skewed due to various life experiences. I love sharing my perspectives and listening to theirs, and we all open ourselves up to ideas we may not agree with or particularly care for. Nevertheless, it is discussions like these that stimulate and refresh my own Judaism, and remind me of why I chose to be a part of this sect of Judaism. After an intense semester, with a lot of disappointments and struggles, I needed to talk about God and why I chose to follow a Jewish lifestyle and career in such an open and loving environment.
Angela Landsbury! She's in the khaki coat.
NYC from the top of the Empire State Building
My boyfriends. It's true love for sure :)Thanks, guys, for a great week...meet you at Junior's at midnight for some latkes and red velvet!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Placement is Over!
For the last couple of weeks, many SSM students have been focusing hard on one of the most stressful aspects of the school year: student placement. Those of us who decided to leave our current student cantor positions in search of something new for next year spent the last 2 weeks prepping, choosing music, studying potential congregations, fixing our resumes, and deciding which congregations to interview with. Finally, the day comes when we audition and interview with these congregations in hopes that we'll be "matched" with a congregation that we like who also likes us.
Placement day, or "Yom Hadin" (Judgement Day, as we've taken to calling it) is a crazy day of singing, interviewing, and waiting around anxiously. The congregational representatives first gather together in the chapel for a "concert" of cantorial students, where each of us sings 2 pieces of our choosing. One of the chosen pieces is to be a congregrational melody, in which we're to invite our "congregation" to sing with us. The other is to be a more serious cantorial solo which showcases our "skillz" as a cantor. I chose to sing Meir Finkelstein's V'Shamru paired with Max Janowski's Tavo L'fanecha. It was a good pair of 2 very different pieces that each showcase my abilities in different ways.
After the concert, there is a short lunch break followed by an afternoon of interviewing. Each congregation is in a different HUC classroom, and have 20-minute interviews with each of the students who choose to interview with them. I interviewed with 6 congregations. It's always interesting to see which congregations and rabbis you like right off the bat; you can usually tell whether or not you want a job within the first minute or 2 of an interview.
At the end of the day, I walked out of the room with 4 congregations that I really, really liked. From there, we email our top choices in order to the Josee, our Placement Director. The congregations do the same, and a few days later Josee matches us according to who liked who.
I was incredibly happy with my results, and was one of the lucky ones who recieved exactly the congregation I wanted to work with. I'll be working at Temple Beth Israel of York, Pennsylvania, visiting twice a month. I couldn't be more thrilled about this outcome, or more excited to serve this congregation on a more regular basis than a monthly job provides. AND--I have family of family as members! My Uncle Harold's cousins are members, so I'll have my own mishpacha as part of my congregational mishpacha.
As happy as I am with the results, it was an incredibly tense and stressful week that did not yield good results for everyone. With the enconomy in the state it's in, there were more students looking for jobs than jobs looking for students, and there were people who did not get placed for next year. One of those people is one of my very best friends in this program. On Wednesday, when we found out our results, I can not tell you how hard it was to be happy while watching this friend walk away, not able to look me or anyone else in the eye. We all know that student placement is a numbers game, and not recieving a congregation is not necessarily a reflection of performance or ability, but it's easy to take such a result personally. It was incredibly hard to be happy on Wednesday night, despite my exciting results. Knowing that you got an awesome job while your good friend is feeling awful about herself makes it difficult to celebrate your own successes.
The next day, I recieved a message from this friend on my phone when I came up from the subway. She just wanted to congratulate me and tell me there were no hard feelings. I knew all along that she wasn't angry with me and that her hard feelings would soften in time, but it was so noble of her to call me so soon. I've learned huge lessons in humility and kindness from this one phone call, and I hope she knows how much I appreciate her strength.
To this sweet friend, and you know who you are: You are an amazing cantor--you always have been, and you always will be. There is no doubt in my mind that something wonderful is coming your way, something far and above what you wanted in this first round. Thanks for using this to teach me the meaning of friendship and humility.
Placement day, or "Yom Hadin" (Judgement Day, as we've taken to calling it) is a crazy day of singing, interviewing, and waiting around anxiously. The congregational representatives first gather together in the chapel for a "concert" of cantorial students, where each of us sings 2 pieces of our choosing. One of the chosen pieces is to be a congregrational melody, in which we're to invite our "congregation" to sing with us. The other is to be a more serious cantorial solo which showcases our "skillz" as a cantor. I chose to sing Meir Finkelstein's V'Shamru paired with Max Janowski's Tavo L'fanecha. It was a good pair of 2 very different pieces that each showcase my abilities in different ways.
After the concert, there is a short lunch break followed by an afternoon of interviewing. Each congregation is in a different HUC classroom, and have 20-minute interviews with each of the students who choose to interview with them. I interviewed with 6 congregations. It's always interesting to see which congregations and rabbis you like right off the bat; you can usually tell whether or not you want a job within the first minute or 2 of an interview.
At the end of the day, I walked out of the room with 4 congregations that I really, really liked. From there, we email our top choices in order to the Josee, our Placement Director. The congregations do the same, and a few days later Josee matches us according to who liked who.
I was incredibly happy with my results, and was one of the lucky ones who recieved exactly the congregation I wanted to work with. I'll be working at Temple Beth Israel of York, Pennsylvania, visiting twice a month. I couldn't be more thrilled about this outcome, or more excited to serve this congregation on a more regular basis than a monthly job provides. AND--I have family of family as members! My Uncle Harold's cousins are members, so I'll have my own mishpacha as part of my congregational mishpacha.
As happy as I am with the results, it was an incredibly tense and stressful week that did not yield good results for everyone. With the enconomy in the state it's in, there were more students looking for jobs than jobs looking for students, and there were people who did not get placed for next year. One of those people is one of my very best friends in this program. On Wednesday, when we found out our results, I can not tell you how hard it was to be happy while watching this friend walk away, not able to look me or anyone else in the eye. We all know that student placement is a numbers game, and not recieving a congregation is not necessarily a reflection of performance or ability, but it's easy to take such a result personally. It was incredibly hard to be happy on Wednesday night, despite my exciting results. Knowing that you got an awesome job while your good friend is feeling awful about herself makes it difficult to celebrate your own successes.
The next day, I recieved a message from this friend on my phone when I came up from the subway. She just wanted to congratulate me and tell me there were no hard feelings. I knew all along that she wasn't angry with me and that her hard feelings would soften in time, but it was so noble of her to call me so soon. I've learned huge lessons in humility and kindness from this one phone call, and I hope she knows how much I appreciate her strength.
To this sweet friend, and you know who you are: You are an amazing cantor--you always have been, and you always will be. There is no doubt in my mind that something wonderful is coming your way, something far and above what you wanted in this first round. Thanks for using this to teach me the meaning of friendship and humility.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Flashbacks
Taken from the Mamilla Mall, a stone's throw from HUC-JerusalemFirst of all, as I was heating up the corned beef and cabbage I made for dinner on Tuesday, I was hit with an insane craving for non other than last year's meal of choice: Aruchat Boker. This breakfast of deliciousness consists of 2 eggs, homemade bread with cheeses and jam, a huge cucumber and tomato salad, a tiny bowl of tuna, avocado, or yogurt with fruit, fresh juice and a coffee of your choosing. I ate this meal at least 5 times a week, for breakfast, lunch and/or dinner. Yes, there were many days when I ate it two times a day. And it was delish every time. I'm salavating just thinking about the deliciousness...and still craving it. Anyone want to run to J'lem to devour one with me?
A not-so-tasty-looking but complete version of Aruchat Boker from my favorite place in J'lem--Cup O'Joe, located 5 minutes from my apartment. God I miss this food.Yesterday was Founder's Day at HUC, so we had a special morning service to commemorate those people who've helped to keep the school up and running for all these years. Julia was the cantor for the service, and requested that the 5 of us sing something together. We ended up singing the Jack Gottlieb "Eytz Chayim" that we learned together last year, and as we stood around the ark, I couldn't help but think back to our final service of the year in Israel. We sang the same piece, in nearly the same formation then, and to sing it again in New York was a strange kind of deja vu (it was also lovely to sing together again as the 5 of us, since we rarely get the opportunity to do so here.)
The last morning service of the year in Israel, as the 5 of us sang the Gottlieb "Eytz Chayim" surrounded by our classmates and friends.I think part of what bugs me about being here rather than in J'lem is the lack of amazing things that happen everyday as a natural part of life. Instead of seeing the walls of the Old City on my way to class, I see graffiti and subway signs. It's a little depressing when I let myself think about it. I also miss the huge amount of personal growth that occured last year; I haven't lost any of what I learned about myself and Judaism since being here, but things have definitely slowed down.
Bottom line? I can't wait to go back. I have a Keep the Change account with my bank, and I think I'm going to call it the "Tracy-needs-some-aruchat-boker-and-amazing-scenery-and-the-feeling-of-Israel--so-I-should-save-this-money-for-my-plane-ticket" account. At this rate, it'll only take me 10 years to save up enough for a ticket!
In other very exciting news, I just found out that I am going to have a new cousin! A huge mazal tov to Whitney and Adam! I am so excited for you both (as long as you don't have the baby on one of the High Holy Days so I can sing at the bris, we'll be cool :))
Friday, March 13, 2009
For Once, A Happy Post!
A sign found yesterday on Broadway, adjacent to HUC-NYC. I found it to be hysterically funny...only in New York!You know those times when you have so much going on that it seems impossible to try to narrow it down into one blog post, but you don't have the motivation to waste your lovely Sunday afternoon writing 2 or more? Yeah, that's where I am today.
Thank God March is here, and that it brought some happier times (and warmer temps!) February was not pretty, and I am SO GLAD it's in the past so I can concentrate on springtime! Of course, I had some help to get me through the dreary month of February...
This lovely little gem of a chocolate pizza from Max Brenner's, shared with Adam and his friend Dan when Adam was in town helping me to rid my apartment of mice. Chill out, guys...I had one piece and it was worth every single calorie!
This lovely little gem of a chocolate pizza from Max Brenner's, shared with Adam and his friend Dan when Adam was in town helping me to rid my apartment of mice. Chill out, guys...I had one piece and it was worth every single calorie!
A chocolate martini, the one alcoholic beverage I drank during the month of February...compared to my half-bottles of wine that I drank nearly every night before bedtime when adjusting to NYC this summer, I'd say I did pretty well last month.
Thank God for little brothers. Adam came up the night of Valentine's Day to help me tackle the mice problem (and we've been winning, thus far!) We got to spend almost a week together, and had a good time touring Chelsea Market, Times Square, and St Marks Place. I'm incredibly lucky to have a little brother who's as good to me as Adam is. Thanks, schmucky :)
I was also priviliged to sing in Lisa's senior recital on liturgical jazz music. This recital was truly one of the highlights of my scholastic month, and a wonderful getaway from my Nusach-heavy semester. Lisa (in the gold dress, obviously) did an amazing job, and the music was fun, beautiful and interesting. Pictured, from left to right: Lisa, Mary, me, Jaime, Josh.
So, that was Feburary. What's up for March?
More Recitals!
Last week, Arik gave his recital over the music of Moishe Oysher, which was incredibly entertaining and quite the spectacle. We were lucky to listen to Arik's amazing talent, along with the talents of several of the male cantorial faculty at HUC. Since we'd never really gotten to hear these chazzanim sing before, it was quite a thrill. I loved how the Yiddish music of this recital appealed to all of us wannabe cantors, and would so easily appeal to synagogue and even secular audiences. I'm excited to try to find some of Oysher's movies and learn more about him through his acting and chazzanut.
This week, I am participating in another recital based on portraying the Cantor as Educator. We're singing some really lovely pieces, and Zoe (the 5th year presenting the recital) is a doll to work with.
There are a few more recitals throughout the remainder of the semester, and I have to say that I have had so much fun watching and/or participating in them. They absolutely inspire me to begin thinking about my own recital (3 years from now...) and how much I am looking forward to putting so much time and energy into one specific topic.
Guitar Lessons!
Have I mentioned before that I'm taking guitar lessons this semester? It's a requirement of all HUC-trained cantors that we can learn how to play enough guitar to accompany ourselves on simple congregational tunes in front of a congregation. I'm taking lessons with my friend and rabbinical student colleage, Evan, and I am having a great time with it. Who knew I could actually learn to play guitar (considering my 2 failed attempts in college and after...) and actually enjoy it? I know about 10 chords thus far, and I am working on strumming and finger picking patterns. It's a good skill to have as a cantor (really, as any Jewish professional) so I'm excited to be working on it.
Student Placement
AKA, the bane of my existence. This is where things start to turn sour. As much as I've loved working at my congregation this year, I decided to bite the bullet and enter into student placement for a new congregation for next year. With the economy in the state it's in right now, many congregations have decided they don't need a student cantor anymore, therefore causing a shortage in jobs for next year. There are 20 students applying for roughly 12 positions, and everyone is applying for pretty much everything based solely on the fact that they need a job for next year. It's scary to leave a perfectly great job knowing that I might not have a job at all next year. However, I attended services this past Friday night at the congregation I'd really like to work for next year, and I realized that I need to take this risk, to leave what is stable and comfortable to find something that is going to push me, beat the hell out of me, and fulfill me musically. I probably won't get this particular job, based on my experience and the fact that so many incredibly talented people are also applying, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. Auditions/interviews are one week from today (eeeek!) so we'll see what happens.
What else is going on? I don't even know. It's been a crazy month of March, but a much happier one than I could have predicted a month ago. I'm looking forward to 3 more visits to South Bend, a visit from my favorite boys in the entire world, a trip home for the last part of Pesach, and whatever else will be thrown my way throughout the rest of the semester.
Hope you're all well and enjoying this introduction to springtime!
More Recitals!
Last week, Arik gave his recital over the music of Moishe Oysher, which was incredibly entertaining and quite the spectacle. We were lucky to listen to Arik's amazing talent, along with the talents of several of the male cantorial faculty at HUC. Since we'd never really gotten to hear these chazzanim sing before, it was quite a thrill. I loved how the Yiddish music of this recital appealed to all of us wannabe cantors, and would so easily appeal to synagogue and even secular audiences. I'm excited to try to find some of Oysher's movies and learn more about him through his acting and chazzanut.
This week, I am participating in another recital based on portraying the Cantor as Educator. We're singing some really lovely pieces, and Zoe (the 5th year presenting the recital) is a doll to work with.
There are a few more recitals throughout the remainder of the semester, and I have to say that I have had so much fun watching and/or participating in them. They absolutely inspire me to begin thinking about my own recital (3 years from now...) and how much I am looking forward to putting so much time and energy into one specific topic.
Guitar Lessons!
Have I mentioned before that I'm taking guitar lessons this semester? It's a requirement of all HUC-trained cantors that we can learn how to play enough guitar to accompany ourselves on simple congregational tunes in front of a congregation. I'm taking lessons with my friend and rabbinical student colleage, Evan, and I am having a great time with it. Who knew I could actually learn to play guitar (considering my 2 failed attempts in college and after...) and actually enjoy it? I know about 10 chords thus far, and I am working on strumming and finger picking patterns. It's a good skill to have as a cantor (really, as any Jewish professional) so I'm excited to be working on it.
Student Placement
AKA, the bane of my existence. This is where things start to turn sour. As much as I've loved working at my congregation this year, I decided to bite the bullet and enter into student placement for a new congregation for next year. With the economy in the state it's in right now, many congregations have decided they don't need a student cantor anymore, therefore causing a shortage in jobs for next year. There are 20 students applying for roughly 12 positions, and everyone is applying for pretty much everything based solely on the fact that they need a job for next year. It's scary to leave a perfectly great job knowing that I might not have a job at all next year. However, I attended services this past Friday night at the congregation I'd really like to work for next year, and I realized that I need to take this risk, to leave what is stable and comfortable to find something that is going to push me, beat the hell out of me, and fulfill me musically. I probably won't get this particular job, based on my experience and the fact that so many incredibly talented people are also applying, but it's a risk I'm willing to take. Auditions/interviews are one week from today (eeeek!) so we'll see what happens.
What else is going on? I don't even know. It's been a crazy month of March, but a much happier one than I could have predicted a month ago. I'm looking forward to 3 more visits to South Bend, a visit from my favorite boys in the entire world, a trip home for the last part of Pesach, and whatever else will be thrown my way throughout the rest of the semester.
Hope you're all well and enjoying this introduction to springtime!
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